


Champagne Problems

by bisexualreina



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Dana Scully Angst, F/M, Fox Mulder Angst, Hurt Dana Scully, On the Run, Post Season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualreina/pseuds/bisexualreina
Summary: Just like the song goes...Mulder pops the question
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	Champagne Problems

**Author's Note:**

> First one shot in a while, so here's some angst

He made a plan. A diamond encrusted sapphire in his pocket that had once sat upon his mother’s hand, was now tucked away safely after being cleaned and polished. After all of the fighting, yearning, longing, and loving Mulder wanted to make Dana Katherine Scully his wife. There was nobody else on this blue rock that he wanted to spend the rest of his days with. Never in ten thousand years would he imagine that he’d be settling down and marrying the first woman he had ever fallen in love with. It was a slow attraction that had thrust him into the deep and murky pits of true love, and he was glad to had found that in Scully.

He wanted to take her dancing. Their life on the run was far from what they were used to, and rarely did they ever stop and think about slowing down for a date. However, it was their anniversary— well what they deemed a memorable date — and he knew that it was the perfect time to ask. It had been almost ten years since she had stepped foot into the dingy basement, and in his eyes she had only made his life brighter. 

With the promise of dinner and a normal night out, Mulder had convinced his redheaded partner into his participating in the carefully planned night. His breath is taken at the sight of her now longer hair pulled back into a simple twist against the back of her head. It had grown since he bid both her and their son goodbye, now sweeping down to her shoulder blades with bits of gold lightening the once fiery red color. Her dress was a simple black spaghetti strap, the material hanging loser against her body, the taller man telling himself that her pumping was truly sucking the calories out of her. Nevertheless she was radiant in his eyes, and wordlessly climbed into the cheap SUV that Mulder had taken upon their departure.

With a breath both parties sighed at the sight of a quaint restaurant, a grassy field with hanging lights sat in the back for dancing and conversation. It was the perfect setting for what Mulder had planned. Scully emerged silently from the car, her legs wobbling with unease as she strode through the grass in a pair of strappy heels. It felt like ages since she had donned a shoe with such height, making her chest constrict at the memories.

She watched as Mulder muttered cheekily to the hostess at the front, a wave of shock hitting her that he had called to make a reservation. It was short lived as the young woman led them outside towards a wooden table in the corner, the surface covered with leafy decor and a fresh bouquet of daisies and lavender — her favorite. She felt a faint smile creep onto her face as she thanked the hostess and slid into her seat. Breathing in the warm… _Carolina_ air, she let herself come to relax, forcing her thoughts out of her normally crowded brain. She had missed simple evenings like these, the spontaneous decisions that led to memorable nights and warm memories, now replaced with hiding and tactful planning to avoid the grips of the law.

A young woman sat in the corner with a rusty microphone, singing soothing words over the hushed chatter of the field. Some couples took to the floor, swaying aimlessly with one another on the cheaply laid slabs of wood that signified a dance floor. Gathering up as much courage as he could, Mulder cheekily winked at his partner and extended a hand as an invitation to dance. A smile flashed against her tired eyes as she agreed, taking his hand and following him to the floor. 

On uneasy feet she clung to his jacket, pulling herself close so they could simply move in quiet unison. Her head came to rest on his shoulder as she sighed deeply, she missed many things but the way they had once been sat high on her list. She missed the life that they once had and mourned that reality daily. The steady feeling of his hand clutching hers brought her a peace that she held onto with all of her might.

As the song began to fade into a new one, Scully could feel him reaching into his coat pocket with a smirk writhing it’s way onto his face. She paused as she watched in horror as he retrieved a small velvet box, instantly dropping the hand that she had been holding onto for dear life. Scully could feel her face paling as he took a steady breath, his eyes never leaving her pooling ones.

“Scully, you are the only one for me. I’d like to think that our lives have gone on the more uncharted route, but I think that is what makes us so amazingly us. I need you Scully, and I want you to be my partner in all things. So, will you marry me?”

Crestfallen, Scully found herself at a loss for words. Her mind that had been once clouded over, was now sharply clear as she cupped her mouth with a trembling hand. Mulder faltered for a moment and moved in closer, but she found herself taking a flinching step back. Sputtering out a sob, Scully found herself weighed down with the predicament he had put her in — he wasn’t as unhappy as she was, and it broke her heart to pieces.

Dana Katherine Scully was not one to lose her head. She had always been a leveled picture of reason and rationality, but in the days following her son’s adoption she found herself buried under a blanket of darkness that she couldn’t shake. Her life had blanched and she found little reason for anything following their departure from everything she knew and loved. Nights in the hotel were spent with Mulder researching away, the confinement kicking his brain into overdrive, while she felt hers eating away at her from the inside.

Her nights were spent curled up in dry, empty bathtubs with a portable breast pump and millions of tears. Her son, her beloved son had brought such a radiant light into her life even when she feared that Mulder had properly abandoned them both. Now the memory of him just brought painful waves of a feeling that she couldn’t pinpoint, but it terrified her ever time it hit. She found herself making it through the days in a haze that had become harder and harder to mask as time went on, wailing into the night amidst the gentle sound of her pump.

She missed him, the feeling of him even though there were times when the discomfort felt too great. She would take the agonizing feeling of his gummy smile yanking on her all night if it meant that she could just hold her precious baby one more time. Rationally she wanted to tell herself that this was all normal, but that part of her brain felt like it was being buried farther and farther with every wave of that horrifying feeling. She had kept her son for six months, raised and loved him with every fiber of her being, and then gave him up. William knew her face, sensed her smell, and calmed with her touch, and the sight of his confused expression as he reached for her on the way out of her apartment haunted every waking moment she had. She loved him, and he loved her, but all he understood was that the only person he had come to love and know, abandoned him.

His face flashed in her brain, her body riddled with this new feeling and she hated herself for it. Never in her entire life had she felt that way towards herself, she was human and had felt uncomfortable in her own skin at times, but this was a deep rooted dislike for the woman she had become. 

The disgust felt by Dana Scully towards the woman she looked at in the mirror was almost paralyzingly polar to the profession of love that Mulder had spewed. Her face fell as she stared at the man that she once loved so dearly, that at one point would’ve justified all of the choices that she had made. However the regret felt in the pits of her chest flooded with resentment and self loathing as she realized she’d eventually have to respond.

“Scully? What say you?” His voice light and hopeful as he held the sapphire out to her.

“I can’t,” her words lingering with disbelief and exasperation as she hastily bustled off of the dance floor to gather her things. Her eyes pinched shut and she desperately fought off the feeling of nausea and relentless sobs, racing towards the front of the restaurant and out into the lot.

The sound of footsteps behind her only made her pace hasten, her heartbeat now pulsing in her throat as she made her way to the peaceful solitude of the front lot. Mulder’s calls for her finally registered as she spun around to face him, not aware of the tears that had been falling down her face. She messily mopped them up with the back of her hand, noticing the smear of mascara against her face.

“Scully, talk to me please,” he begged, a lingering fear in his voice as he stared at the woman he loved so much. She could feel her bottom lip quivering as she stared off into the distance, unable to meet his gaze as she tried to formulate an explanation.

“I’m not the one for you, Mulder,” she began, disbelief crossing his face as he stared at her. “Something happened, I don’t know if it was you leaving, or William— either way something broke me into an ugly _ugly_ person. I am damaged goods and you deserve much more than that. You deserve someone who can warm you like the sun, and love you without all of this weight hanging on her shoulders. I- I want to love you unconditionally, but every time I look at you I see _him_ and everything that I had to do to keep him safe because _you_ weren’t there, and you don’t deserve that because you loved him too.”

Her chest heaved as she sobbed, not caring that makeup ran in thick streams down her face, leaving an even bigger mess than she cared to acknowledge. Mulder stood stunned, unsure of what to say in response.

“Scully we are a team,” he managed, “and if you were feeling this way you should’ve just told me.”

She just blinked in response, unsure what to say to the man who wanted so much for their future.

“I can’t,” she simply repeated, dialing into her phone before tossing the keys towards him. She watched as a bout of anger bubbled up from within, causing him to stomp in her direction and shove the velvet box at her with desperation.

“Scully it has always been you and me! We can’t call it quits, we do things together— we always have!” His words stinging as she pushed him away, her heart aching with hurt as he watched incredulously.

“You have always made it work for yourself, Mulder! You don’t get it— I had to give him away! He was my entire world and he thinks that I just threw him out with the garbage! That guilt lives with me every day, and it will never go away no matter how many times we try and run from it! I hate myself, Mulder and you shouldn’t be madly in love with me because I am not worth loving! What kind of person— _mother_ gives away their child? You don’t understand what it’s like and I don’t expect you to, but I can’t keep going on pretending that we are okay, let alone madly in love with each other.” 

Mulder watched as she sobbed every emotion out of her wounded heart, making his own tears well up in his eyes.

“Of course I still love you,” was all he could mutter, exasperated that she truly believed otherwise. Their shouting died down as a taxi pulled up, making another blubbering cry come from Scully’s lips. It was an ending that they felt deeply within their chest, she had to learn how to heal, and he had to learn how to exist in a world without his beloved by his side.

“I need time,” she whimpered, reaching behind his neck to draw him in for a painfully delicate kiss. It was all she could manage in the moment, pulling away as the cab driver huffed in frustration. With a heavy heart she climbed into the back and gave a gentle nod towards the man that she too had once pictured her life with, but that image was ripped from her along with any other hope for their future together.

…

Scully bit her lip as she sealed an envelope and set it on the nightstand of their once shared motel room. Her black dress had been packed away, along with the pretty shoes that she had been wearing, leaving her feeling even more stripped from her emotional night. Her bag was packed and train ticket purchased, under the name Evelyn Jean she would be traveling home for good. She needed to be cared for, loved, and held in the way only Maggie Scully could do for her.

She prayed sincerely that Fox Mulder would find happiness beyond her, that a woman would come and dazzle him in the way that he deserved. Despite the heartache that she felt, she knew that she would come to agree with her decision. She had cried over the thought of someone else getting to bask in a life with him that she had imagined for herself, but in the end she knew that it just wasn’t in the cards for them.

They’d always have William, their dingy office that was now closed and sealed, and the past ten years of a lingering and unspoken love that was felt so fiercely between the both of them. She had loved, but in the end she had lost, and that was her own champagne problem that she was forced to live with.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I appreciate you all!:)


End file.
